How long til Grandma can hold him?

Ok, I was really tired when I posted that last one, so when I said we are only letting our immediate family hold Zeke, I forgot to mention that this is temporary! :) We'll only limit his holding until he bonds with us. Most people say that can take anywhere from 1-6 months depending on how old they are, how long they've been in the orphanage, personality, etc.

The tricky thing with orphanage kids is they've never had a chance to bond with anyone. They have so many different people caring for them, they can develop problems forming attachments with people. When we got Zeke, he came right to us, total strangers, without crying or protesting at all. He'd let anyone hold him. This is not good! But as we've spent time limiting his holding/feeding/changing to just us, we can see that he is beginning to form an attachment to us. Now when others reach for him, rather than leaning toward them, he grabs tighter on to me and tucks his face into my shoulder, which is so encouraging to see!! Adoptive "experts" tell us this is a good sign! Because the attachment is forming with us, it shows he's developing the ability to form attachments in general and will now also be able to bond with others, like grandparents. But if we'd let anyone hold him at any time, he'd be less likely to form attachments with anyone, at least that's the prevailing theory.

This, along with lots of prayer and love, is one of the ways we hope to help Zeke heal from a crazy first 6 months of life. It is such a joy to see him change and blossom just in the first month home with us. We're so thankful that God has chosen Zeke to be a Michaelian!

"Now What?"

We were sitting on the couch in the living room the night we got home with Zeke, after all the visitors had gone home and the excitement had died down, and Ellie, our 7 year old, says, "So.... now what?"

We'd worked long and hard for the last 2 1/2 years to bring a baby home from Africa. Now that he's here, what do we do? We all laughed when she said that, but also marveled at her capturing so perfectly the sentiment in all of our hearts. Now... the real journey has begun! LIFE WITH ZEKE

We've had him home about a month now, and each week we feel more bonded to him. Just this week, it seems he's reached a new level of security with us and he's loosened up. He's giggling more, being goofy, showing us a side of his personality we haven't seen yet. And he's so cuddly! It's been really fun.

We've been doing something that adoptive training classes and other adoptive parents have recommended to us, and that is not letting anyone hold Zeke, but our immediate family, not good friends, not grandparents, not anybody. It's been difficult, as we long to share him with everyone (and my back could use a break from our Chocolate Chunk!), but we're seeing the fruit of it. I think he's really starting to know who his family is!


He absolutely loves the kids. The girls carry him around (I'm amazed they're strong enough!) and he lights up like a christmas tree whenever Jackson is around. He laughs and laughs at their antics. It's been so fun to see them bonding. Dave and I often hear, "Can I hold him? Can I hold him?" Dave has to stand firm to get some time with him when he gets home from work. :)


Addie said recently, "I can't imagine life without Zeke." It's so true. Everytime God sends us another one of his little Blessings to join our family, we say that. We can't remember what it was like without him because he's already growing into our hearts and lives and becoming one of us.